Fresh Start

Amelia woke slowly. Her ears began working before her eyes did. Her lids lay heavy, heavier than she had ever felt them. Her mouth felt dry and parched, and her head felt as though a weight were pressing down upon it. For a moment, Amelia stopped trying to open her eyes and made sense of her surroundings by touch and sound alone. A steady hum from some machine to her right, with a periodic beep emitting from it. Muffled voices were talking urgently outside the door. The blanket over her was warm, but not soft. Her fingers traced the edge of it, the fleeting line between her and the cold world.

The hospital. Amelia’s memory came flooding back. She was waking up from surgery. She had never wanted to get a surgical abortion, or any abortion at all. But Amelia could not have had this baby, and especially not with Josh. Her eyes fluttered open, and she was temporarily blinded by the fluorescent lights.

“Hello?” The word came out dry and rasping. At first, no one seemed to hear her, but a nurse’s head popped out from behind the doorway. Amelia thought the nurse stared sadly at her, but before she could consider what that would mean, her doctor came into the room.

“Ahh, you’re awake. The general anesthesia should be wearing off shortly. No, no need to sit up. Here, let me bring you some water.” Dr. Walters filled a small plastic cup from the sink in the room and handed it to Amelia. “So, Amelia, you’ll be happy to know that you are just fine. In fact, better than fine. And that your baby is safe and sound.”

That couldn’t be right.

“I’m sorry, did you say my baby? I was here for an abortion.” Amelia’s hands slid down to her pubic area, looking frantically for bandages, gauze, pads, any indication that she had undergone her procedure. All she found was herself, unblemished and whole. “What the fuck is going on?”

“Now, now,” Dr. Walters chided. “There’s no need for that sort of language. And, please, Mrs. Jones, lay down. Shortly after you were put under general anesthesia, your husband came in and let us know about your situation. Together, we made sure to do what is best for you and your family.”

“My husband? Josh and I are legally separated. He is not my husband.”

“Oh, dear. Well, Josh assured us that you two are going through a rough patch but are very excited to have a baby together. He had been trying to get back here when we wheeled you back. By the time the nurse could verify who he was, you were already under general anesthesia. Joshua showed us some rather alarming photos of you while under the influence. He also brought in an old Oxycodone prescription with your name on it, as well as Chlorpromazine in an unmarked bag. He told us that you stopped taking the anti-psychotic some time ago, without notifying your psychiatrist. He also fears that you are taking opioids as a form of self-medication. I made the decision that was in the best interest of your baby and you.”

“My what? My delusions? He’s lying. I’m not on any medications. The Oxy was from an old injury, but I haven’t seen it for months. I thought he threw it away. You were supposed to give me the abortion.” Amelia began sobbing. “This is wrong, so wrong. You’re a doctor. You can’t just do that.”

“Let me get Joshua. I’m sure he can clear up the confusion.”

“No, please don’t get -”

Josh Jones strode into the room, a glint in his eye.

“Hey, babe.”

“I am not your babe. Get out. Leave!”

“Oh, Ames, I know this is hard for you to accept, but you’re off your meds. I know it must all seem so real, but I’m here now. I didn’t know where you were, but thank God I had put that tracker on your car. Now you’re safe. I just want what’s best for you.”

“Dr. Walters, please.” Amelia’s voice trembled. “You have to believe me. Josh is not a good person. He is abusive. We are getting a divorce. I am not, nor have I ever been, on medication for my mental health. I don’t have delusions. Please.”

“Well, Mrs. Jones, I’m afraid this is complicated. I think that Joshua has some valid concerns. For instance, why wasn’t the Oxycodone properly disposed of? However, I am inclined to take your concerns seriously, too.”

Josh bristled at the statement, but Dr. Walters shot him a knowing look and gently raised a hand to quiet him. The doctor continued.

“Mrs. Jones, do you know the year?”

“2026.” Amelia gave him the correct answer through gritted teeth.

“And, Mrs. Jones, do you know who the current president is?”

“It’s… Trump.” Again, a strained, but correct, answer.

“Thank you, Mrs. Jones. Then you must realize that my hands are tied here. According to the most recent orders passed, the husband has ultimate authority in all family medical decisions, provided his decisions are in the best interest of the family as a whole.”

She started at this, but Dr. Walters cut her off. “Furthermore, according to that same order, a wife may lose all of her decision-making authority if there is evidence that she is incapable of making decisions in the best interest of the family. One of the qualifiers for that loss of authority is unsanctioned drug use. Because of the information Joshua has supplied, he will remain in charge of your medical decisions. So far, everything he has asked for has seemed in your best interest.”

Amelia’s eyes moved back and forth between Josh and Dr. Walters. Josh had a smug smile on his face, but shrugged his shoulders as if there was nothing he could do.

“We are getting a divor-”

“Actually, we are not, Ames. I let our lawyer know about your… habit… and we decided that it would be much better for you to be in a recovery program than divorced and without support. We’ve signed you up for rehab so that you can get better. A fresh start for us and the baby.”

Amelia took in a steadying breath. Although the anesthesia was likely still wearing off, she felt sharp and focused. Adrenaline coursed through her, but she fought the urge to panic. Instead, she slowly slid toward the edge of the bed.

“I just need a little water.” Amelia looked toward the sink, where various medical supplies were neatly organized. Josh shot another look at Dr. Walters, who again gently waved at him to remain calm.

As Amelia approached the counter, she scanned the assortment of medical supplies. The tiny jar of cotton swabs would not do. But next to them, a thick glass jar full of wooden tongue depressors. That would work.

Amelia got a plastic cup, feigning shakiness. After filling it, she knocked the jar from the counter. Glass shattered, shards flying across the floor. Startled, Josh fell back, tripping over a chair and falling to the floor.

“Shit.” Dr. Walters let his composure slip but recovered quickly. Amelia fell to her knees, allowing her fingers to close around a particularly wicked shard as Dr. Walters stopped to help her up from the ground.

The shard sank in more easily than Amelia expected it would. Blood covered her arm, spreading quickly from Dr. Walters’ white coat. His eyes locked onto hers, trying to process what was happening. He still hadn’t screamed.

But Josh did.

“What the fuck? What the fuck did you do?!” Josh scrambled to get up, still tangled in chair legs. He slipped on the remaining glass shards and failed to get himself on his feet.

Amelia pushed Dr. Walters, still in shock, toward the door. He slumped against it, gasping as blood spurted from his wound and between his teeth. Then, Amelia was on her own feet. Blood seeped from the long lines on her hands, where she had gripped the glass shard prior. By now, Dr. Walters’ blood was pooling on the ground, seeping under the door. His breaths had become shallow, and his eyelids dropped.

Amelia turned toward Josh. Never breaking eye contact, she knelt down and wrapped her fingers around another shard of glass. This one had three small ridges and a hairline crack running through it.

“Please, Ames, don’t do this. We’ll get you help. We can make you better.”

Amelia cocked her head at the groveling man.

“Make. Me. Better. Better? The only thing you’ve made me is desperate. You should never have come here.”

Amelia lunged toward Josh, slashing wildly with the glass shard. Josh skittered away, still not able to find his footing. The shard still buried itself in his abdomen. A piece broke off internally, but Amelia was able to keep her grip on the rest of it. The blood from her hand mingled with his, then she ripped her hand sideways.

Josh’s fingers clutched at the gaping hole in his stomach. Hot blood and intestines filled his hands before he too succumbed to shock.

Amelia became suddenly aware that she was still naked, aside from the hospital gown that remained tied behind her back. Her clothes were crumpled in the plastic bag the hospital had given her before preparing for her surgery. As she began dressing herself, Amelia looked down at her stomach. Tears began sliding down her cheeks. Perhaps she had been too rash in abandoning the life growing inside of her. She felt lighter now, especially without Josh to worry about.

Amelia tried to open the door, but Dr. Walters’ lifeless body was still propped against it. She tried to drag him, but he was suddenly so heavy. Amelia remained so focused on her task that she didn’t notice the nurse’s face appear through the cracked door.

Amelia froze. The nurse couldn’t see the doctor from where she was, but Amelia knew that the nurse could see Josh. Amelia closed her eyes, waiting for the nurse to scream, to sound the alarm, to call for help. But the call never came.

Amelia looked into the nurse’s eyes and saw a grim camaraderie there. Then she realized it was the same nurse who had shot her the pitying look right before Amelia’s life unraveled. The nurse glanced meaningfully at the door. She began pushing on it from the outside. Amelia pulled from inside the room. Blood smeared as Dr. Walters was slowly pushed forward.

Once there was enough room for Amelia to squeeze out, she did so, taking hurried steps down the hall, before briefly pausing. She looked back. The nurse stood in the still pooling blood. The nurse gave Amelia a curt nod, then turned and ran back down the hall, toward the security office. Amelia ran the opposite direction, toward the exit, and toward whatever freedom she could find beyond the doors. A fresh start.